Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize