Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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