loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
