He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
