He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
