I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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