I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
two words: eviction party
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
