If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
