i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
