She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
