I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
