hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The air was thick with penises
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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