dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
