Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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