he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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