I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
