Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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