He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize