i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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