I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
