you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
