I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
