thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
