Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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