So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
