he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
