before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize