I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize