I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
