That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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