dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
