Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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