Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
