"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Mom said you looked used
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
