just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
