i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
