so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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