omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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