so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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