put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
never play flip cup with pint glasses
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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