he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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