Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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