Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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