Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
