I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
