Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
