Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
