Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
