when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
