So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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