the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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