I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
