super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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