oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
