Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
