Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize