just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
