normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
