I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
