called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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