I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
