Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
high people should be assigned attendants
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
