I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
