none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
